


killing boys

by orphan_account



Category: K-pop, VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angel Cha Hakyeon | N, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Anxiety, Asshole Lee Jaehwan | Ken, Bipolar Disorder, Blood and Gore, Casual Sex, Consensual Sex, Depression, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Friends to Lovers, Inspired by Music, Killing, Lee Hongbin Best Boy, M/M, Manipulative Relationship, Mood Swings, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Violence, e - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:14:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22893889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "you're killing people.""no, i'm killing boys! boys are just placeholders, they come and they go.""you're my best friend and i wanna help you, but i won't let you kill again.""that's a lose/lose."
Relationships: Cha Hakyeon | N/Lee Hongbin, Cha Hakyeon | N/Lee Jaehwan | Ken, Han Sanghyuk | Hyuk/Jung Taekwoon | Leo, Kim Wonshik | Ravi/Lee Hongbin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	killing boys

**Author's Note:**

> this story was inspired entirely by the song "killing boys" by halsey. if you haven't heard it please give it a listen, it's god tier content.
> 
> please note that while all topics explored in this story have been researched thoroughly by me beforehand, i am not a professional anything. i will write everything as realistically as possible but i'm just a college student.
> 
> these are the songs i listened to while i wrote this chapter:  
>   
> ghost, hurricane, control, colors (halsey)

the first time, it was an accident.

jaehwan was having a bad manic episode, a really bad one. worse than his regular “bad.” hakyeon had begged him not to go out on the date he had planned that night, thinking it would be too dangerous because jaehwan wouldn’t be able to control himself. jaehwan was impulsive enough _without_ his manic symptoms. with them? all hell was sure to break loose.

“jaehwan, i don’t think date night is a good idea. you haven’t been this manic in a long time and whoever this guy is that you’re going out with doesn’t know you have bipolar disorder. nothing about this is safe or logical.”

hakyeon was sitting on jaehwan’s bed, watching him put the finishing touches on his look for that night. he was trying to focus on talking him out of leaving the apartment but it was a little difficult because hakyeon was kinda gay and jaehwan was kinda distracting.

hakyeon did _not_ stare at his best friend’s ass when he bent over to pick up his hairbrush. he did _not_ have to cover himself with a pillow when jaehwan asked if the body harness he was wearing over his crop top looked cute. and he did _not_ feel upset that some other guy was taking _his_ lifelong crush out on a date and would probably get the fuck of his life.

hakyeon was _not_ jealous. not even a little.

“exactly, he doesn’t know, i’m not gonna tell him, and he’s never gonna find out. we’re gonna go eat, probably bang in his car, and i’ll be back in time to watch full house re-runs with you. very safe, very logical. i’ll grab some of that pie you like while i’m out so we can have something sweet, okay? don’t worry.”

jaehwan popped his lips softly as he finished applying some sparkly gloss, giving himself a thorough once-over in the mirror.

his hair was curled and silver accessories littered his pretty skin. he was wearing a red long-sleeved crop top with a black body harness and a black skirt, black fishnets, his favorite combat boots, and a black choker with a ring dangling from the front. jaehwan’s makeup was soft and contrasted with his outfit, which was exactly what he wanted for that night.

he looked hot. fuckable, but still cute and soft in the face. _perfect._

“no, not okay. i‘m concerned for your safety and i don’t think you should go. what if you panic like the last time-“

“stop.”

“what if something bad happens-“

“STOP IT.” jaehwan said louder, properly shutting hakyeon up the second time.

the tension in the room came crashing down on both boys and neither of them said anything for a while.

jaehwan _hated_ dealing with his bd symptoms or even having to acknowledge that he had them in the first place. he was fine, he felt fine, nothing was wrong. and as much as he adored him, hakyeon was killing his mood with all his damn worrying. at this rate, he’d fuss and fuss to the point that jae wouldn’t want to go out anymore. and he wasn’t going to let that happen.

so he put on his best pout and sat in his best friend’s lap, winding his arms around his neck.

“hyung~”

“absolutely not, get off of me please.” hakyeon avoided jaehwan’s eyes because he knew if he looked that he’d give in. he _always_ gave in. those pretty eyes would be the death of him. 

“please let me go out? please please please? i’ll be super careful and stay close so if anything happens i can just come right back home.”

“jaehwan, i really don’t feel comfortable with this."

jaehwan rolled his eyes and pushed hakyeon on his back, getting so close that he couldn’t look anywhere except into his eyes.

hakyeon prayed jaehwan couldn’t feel or see how hot his face was.

“hakyeon, you’re gonna let me go out.”

“i don’t think so.”

“you can’t tell me no, you’ve never been able to tell me no.” jaehwan said, voice teasing.

and of course, in the end, hakyeon was unable to tell jaehwan no. he’d stared down his best friend’s average looking date in their living room until jaehwan came out and they departed.

for the most part, the date went exactly how jaehwan planned it would. they went to dinner, had _amazing_ sex in the guy’s car & ran around in an abandoned building for a while because jaehwan _adored_ mischief and what could be more trouble than two college students smashing shit in an old warehouse for no reason.

nothing could kill jaehwan’s high.

“hey, hey! come look at this!” jaehwan yelled. he’d found a steel beam that stretched across the center of the building. they hadn’t explored the other side of the warehouse because they couldn’t find a way across, but now there was one. jaehwan put his foot on top of the beam and tested its weight a bit.

“woah, easy there gorgeous. that doesn’t look very safe.” the guy said, hugging jaehwan to his chest and planting a kiss on the side of his neck.

“oh come on, don’t be such a buzzkill!”

jaehwan planted a quick kiss to the guys mouth before pulling his arms off of him. he started crossing the beam before he even registered what he was doing, looking ahead the entire time.

“jaehwan-“

“it’s fine! it’s not even that far of a distance!”

the beam trembled slightly under his weight but for the most part it was secure, and when jaehwan got to the other side he grinned happily. his date didn’t move, clearly more skeptical and concerned than jaehwan was.

“are you seriously not gonna come over?! you’re gonna leave me all by myself over here?!”

”this isn’t a good idea!”

“are you gonna try to tell me no?” 

jaehwan’s date was surprised when he looked up and saw that his smile was gone. he wasn’t playing anymore. he was so sick of people trying to fucking tell him no. it wasn’t like anyone had ever succeeded so he didn’t know why people kept trying. jaehwan always got what he wanted and if he didn’t things got ugly.

“come here.”

“i’m sorry?”

“i said come here. are you fucking deaf?”

“who are you talking to?”

“myself, apparently, because you can’t follow simple instructions.”

“jaehwan-“

“just because you paid for dinner and knew how to use your average sized dick long enough to please me doesn’t make you special. if you want to really impress me then come here, now.”

the guy was definitely contemplating walking away at that point and jaehwan was starting to get impatient. 

“the others didn’t mention you being so demanding.”

”the others didn’t get a second date with me, either, did they? if you want my attention, prove that you’re worth it. stop being such a pussy.”

the guy was a sweetheart, he was in jaehwan’s calculus class. his friends were all boring as hell but he seemed moderately interesting. the only reason jaehwan agreed to go out with him was that sanghyuk told him he was good in bed.

he’d been acting cool and collected all night but jaehwan knew it was a front to impress him. jaehwan learned a long time ago how to read people, so he wasn’t falling for any of his shit. he went with it initially because it was entertaining at the time but he was starting to get pissed off.

“i don’t have all night, sir.” jaehwan sang, crossing his arms over his chest. “get over here or you can take me back home.”

“alright alright, i’m coming.” his date said, stepping onto the beam and starting to make his way across.

the glass bottle of sprite in jaehwan’s hand shattered as it hit the ground, but he barely heard it, the sound of the beam collapsing was far larger in comparison.

he thought he was dreaming, he had to be, because there was no way this was happening. his stupid date was just walking towards him and now he was laying on the concrete four stories down, his blood splattered around him like paint.

jaehwan was suddenly aware of how bad his hands had been shaking all night and that he’d been talking super fast and that he couldn’t stay focused on one thought for more than a few seconds and that he was definitely not okay. he was scared out of his damn mind because no matter how many times he rubbed his eyes or pinched himself nothing changed and if nothing was changing that meant that this was real and his date was dead and he was in deep shit.

he tried breathing but he could barely get any air into his lungs, his mind was working too fast.

_‘what the fuck am i supposed to do now if he’s dead i have to tell someone right i have to call someone right i can’t just leave him like that can i leave him like that i don’t think so no that’s stupid that’s fucked up how do you clean up a dead body can i clean this up where would i even take him am i going to fucking jail this was such a bad fucking idea i should have just listened to hakyeon-‘_

jaehwan pulled his phone out of his boot and dialed hakyeon’s number three times before he got it right. his hands were shaking too much. he was still trying to breathe, the lack of oxygen was starting to make him feel lightheaded.

“jae? it’s 1 am, you’re supposed to be back-“

“i-i need you to comegetme” jaehwan spoke rapidly, starting to pant softly. “now pleasei need you”

“jaehwan? what’s wrong? what happened?”

“he fell there’s fucking blood everywhere i don’t know whattodo please come i need you please pleaseplease-“

“okay okay, i need you to breathe for me, alright? tell me where you are.”

“i don’t fucking know canyoujust come please i’m s-scared i can’tstop fucking shaking i need you”

“i understand that you need me sweetheart but i can’t come to you if i don’t know where you are, i need you to tell me where you are jaehwan. you can do this.”

“thestupidwarehouse the fucking- on west 97th at the corner the really big abandoned one please”

“i’m in the car now, okay? i’m coming, i need you to try and breathe for me now.”

hakyeon talked jaehwan through one of his breathing exercises and told him to find a way down to the main level until he got to the warehouse. jaehwan’s entire body was shaking by the time hakyeon finally got there and he had a migraine from crying so much.

“i’m sorryjust didn’t know what to do he fell it wasanaccident-“

“shh shh, i’m here now. everything’s going to be okay.” hakyeon cooed, picking jaehwan up and rubbing his hand over his back to try and soothe him further. jaehwan gripped hakyeon so hard it almost hurt but hakyeon didn’t comment on it because he knew how bad he was feeling. usually when he got like this hakyeon was one of few things that could help bring him back to reality.

hakyeon didn’t completely believe jaehwan when he calmed down enough to tell him what had happened but once they walked to the center of the building he certainly did.

“jesus..”

“i-i don’t know what happened it was fine when i walked across but when he got halfway it just fucking came down.”

hakyeon had seen far worse in the neighborhood he grew up in, but that was still enough to get a reaction out of him. he assumed that based on the distance and angle that the guy died instantly. his eyes were open. 

he was quiet as he took jaehwan’s hand and brushed his thumb over it gently. he pursued his lips as he thought about their options.

_‘trying to clean concrete would be too tedious, plus we’d have to go get supplies and it’s already morning. the sun will be coming up soon and someone could see us. just leaving him here will cause problems for jaehwan later, he probably told his friends that they were going on a date tonight. god only knows who he’s been texting. telling the complete truth could also cause problems for jaehwan if the cops don’t believe his story. there’s only one way to do this.’_

when hakyeon pulled his phone out jaehwan started panicking again.

“shh shh, relax love. i know what i’m doing.” hakyeon cooed, pulling him away from the gruesome scene.

“who are you calling-“

“jaehwan, do you trust me?”

“yes.”

“yes what?”

“yes i t-trust you.”

“then let me help you with this.”

hakyeon called the police and handled everything. the one loophole that had saved jaehwan’s ass was that his date was intoxicated while jae himself was sober. hakyeon also told jaehwan to lie and say that they were on different floors when his date fell, which was easily confirmed by the police because hakyeon sent jaehwan upstairs to walk in all the dust and leave footprints.

the case was ruled as accidental death and jaehwan’s record remained spotless. but jaehwan knew hakyeon did something else to make things go so smoothly. he wasn’t a genius but there was no way that he just didn’t have some type of note about what happened on his record. this wasn’t a fiction novel where someone took pity on jaehwan and decided not to fuck up his future. this wasn’t a story, this was real life.

but hakyeon wouldn’t tell him what he did, which was unlike him.

“why can’t you just tell me-” jaehwan started for what seemed like the hundredth time. two months had passed since his ‘accident’ and hakyeon still refused to tell him why his record remained clean. there had been a funeral and moments of silence on campus but other than that everyone had forgotten about what happened already.

everyone except jaehwan.

“jaehwan, please. it’s a good thing that isn’t causing you any problems, why can’t you just leave it alone? do you feel guilty about what happened?

_‘a little bit.’_

“of course i don’t feel guilty, it was an accident.”

“then i would prefer if you dropped the subject, love.” hakyeon turned back to his laptop, expressing that he wanted the conversation to be over.

“i don’t give a shit, i want to know.”

hakyeon and jaehwan had been arguing more often since that night. it took a few days to get jaehwan back to a normal functioning mental state and hakyeon had been an angel, as usual, throughout the whole process. jaehwan didn’t know what he’d do without his best friend in all honesty. 

but as soon as he was back on his feet hakyeon pulled away. he stopped touching jaehwan as often, didn’t shower with him anymore, didn’t go out of his way to spend time with him (hakyeon wasn’t completely avoiding him but it was still a change from his normal behavior,) and just generally seemed on edge when they were together which was basically all the time. he stopped helping jaehwan get ready for his dates and staring whatever guy he’d brought into their shared apartment down in the living room to spook him. jaehwan _didn’t_ care, he just noticed that his best friend didn’t seem like himself.

hakyeon was also more explosive during their arguments, which was usually jaehwan’s thing.

“you’re starting to make me mad.” hakyeon replied nonchalantly, eyes still focused on his laptop.

jaehwan rolled his eyes and shut the stupid thing with his hand, causing hakyeon to let out a long sigh.

“here we fucking go..”

“yes, here we fucking go. the only time you open your damn mouth nowadays is when i’m being a bitch or we’re having a screaming match so let’s have a screaming match at three in the morning i guess.”

“you’re always being a bitch hwannie, i’m just tired of dealing with it all the time.” hakyeon moved past jaehwan to go into their kitchen, turning the coffee machine on.

“tell me why my record is clean.”

“pass.”

“fine, tell me why you’ve been pulling away from me lately.”

“i’m not pulling away.”

jaehwan wrapped his arms around hakyeon’s middle and rested his head on his shoulder but was immediately pushed off.

“that’s what i’m talking about, you don’t let me touch you at all anymore.”

“what’s wrong with that? am i not allowed to have personal space?”

“fuck your personal space, we got this apartment together because we didn’t care about shit like that. remember?”

hakyeon didn’t respond, he was too busy looking through the cabinets for a mug and pretending this conversation wasn’t happening. jaehwan stared at him and opened his mouth to say something but stopped. there was ink peeking from underneath the sleeve of his sweatshirt. he moved and grabbed hakyeon’s left arm before he had time to react, pulling his sleeve back further and exposing what looked like a tattoo.

it was a cherry blossom branch. seven of the pink buds were fully bloomed and three of them were still closed. three petals weren’t attached to anything and there were three leaves at the base of the branch.

hakyeon jerked his arm away from jaehwan so fast that the mug he was holding smashed into the dishwasher and shattered into several large pieces.

“you’re too fucking nosy.” hakyeon spat, shoving past jaehwan and making his way towards his bedroom.

“it’s just a tattoo, what are you so pissy about-” jaehwan grabbed hakyeon’s arm again and almost got slapped for it, he barely dodged his open palm in time.

“IT IS NOT JUST A TATTOO AND YOU NEED TO LEARN WHEN TO MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS, JAEHWAN!”

“YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND, YOU KIND OF ARE MY BUSINESS-”

“I HAVE LIMITS AND YOU REFUSE TO RESPECT THEM! THIS PUSHING MY BUTTONS SHIT ISN’T CUTE, WE’RE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE!”

“I WOULDN’T HAVE TO PUSH YOUR BUTTONS IF YOU KNEW HOW TO OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND COMMUNICATE WITH ME!”

“THE ONLY THING YOU EVER WANT TO TALK ABOUT IS YOURSELF! FUCK YOU!”

“ME ASKING WHY YOU’RE PULLING AWAY FROM ME ISN’T JUST ABOUT ME, YOU HEADASS!”

hakyeon groaned and went into his room, trying to close the door but giving up when jaehwan stuck his foot in the frame.

“please for the love of god leave me alone, hwannie. please.”

“you’re not the type of person to yell back at me, like ever, so no. we need to talk about this.”

“what the hell are we supposed to be talking about? how you keep pressing me about something that is clearly a touchy subject or how you keep invading my space when i don’t want you to? pick a struggle.”

“when did you get a tattoo?”

hakyeon wanted to scream. he was so emotionally drained from his classes and work and everything else that he could cry, and now jaehwan wouldn’t leave him alone. at three in the morning. he just wanted some fucking _space._

“go away please.”

“no, when did you get a tattoo?”

“it’s not a fucking tattoo, will you please leave me alone? please?”

“holy shit, you got your soul mark?”

and now jaehwan knew about the one other thing hakyeon wanted to keep a secret from him. hakyeon never kept secrets unless they were to keep himself or someone else safe. that’s why he refused to tell jaehwan why his record was clean and why he hadn’t told him he got his soul mark the night jaehwan called him crying about what happened at the warehouse. that the sacrifice he made to keep jaehwan’s record clean resulted in the mark revealing itself. that he could now sense jaehwan’s heart. that jaehwan was his soulmate.

“are you fucking happy now?” hakyeon asked, his voice cracking as he turned to look at his best friend. tears rolled down his cheeks and his hands trembled slightly.

jaehwan froze. hakeyon did not cry unless something was _seriously_ wrong. the last time he’d seen him cry was when his father passed away when they were still in high school. that was almost seven years ago. hakyeon was twenty-two now, jaehwan was twenty. they weren’t kids anymore. he knew he’d fucked something up but he didn’t know what exactly.

“i’m sorry-”

“i don’t want your apology, get out of my room.”

“hyung-”

“please leave me alone, jaehwan. please.”

neither of them slept. when they eventually dragged themselves out of their rooms later that morning they had a long conversation about everything. jaehwan was going to stop asking why his record was clean and wouldn’t nag hakyeon about his soul mark unless he brought it up first. hakyeon was going to stop avoiding physical contact and agreed to tell jaehwan why his record was clean when the time was right.

“how many times are you going to apologize? you’re such a sap.” hakyeon smiled as he made breakfast, jaehwan wrapped around him like a koala.

“until whatever i did stops making you sad.” jaehwan said tiredly. “until you’re smiling and happy and back to your usual self. you’ve been looking really sad the past few weeks.”

“i’m already happy hwannie, we talked about our problems and everything’s cool.”

“you promise?”

“i promise.”

hakyeon was grateful for the first time in his life that he was such a good liar.


End file.
